Ok, so from where I left off and WHY I left my blog where it stood is because I am still getting tests done on what is going on with my body, I wish to be able to give accurate info and know for SURE what decision I am viably making for my first competition.

Symptomatically I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Adrenal Fatigue - a condition where my adrenal gland doesn't know how to shut down the production of the catabolic stress hormone, cortisol. This explains why I have been retaining so much fluid even after eating so clean and drinking 4-5 Litres of water per day, hair brittle / falling out more, constant nasal congestion, menstrual cycle out of whack, libido up and down, constant fatigue, short tempered, skin sensativity, sore gums etc... RIDICULOUS!! My body has been running on survival / starvation mode non stop.

So the background logistics for what is going on with my body is... I have been consulting a Naturopath who has started monitoring my body composition stats. At present I am hovering at 65kg - 19.5% bodyfat, have 49.1kg of solid lean muscle mass, 1 point viscal fat and 2.6kg bone mineral and a metabolic age of 13 years old (WOOHOO 2nd puberty here we go!!) My cell hydration / water penetration levels were above normal which she (naturopth) said it meant I was well hydrated. First thing I said was "So that leaves 12kg of adipose tissue that needs some serious shifting, right? Interesting thing is, the GP said my blood test results indicated that I was dehydrated - so why are my results contradicting?" Answer was EXCESS FLUID... "Argggghhhhh GO AWAYYYY!!!!!!" I thought...

After this consultaion I called my PT / Mentor Aaron Braithwaite with the news... just as disappointed as I was he advised that if I continue to compete in May, I would be extremely lucky to make it up on stage. Just as my Naturopath said - you are running the risk of completely burning out your adrenal gland. You need to put your health first and focus on getting this sorted before you put your body under further stress! Who am I to argue? If I burn myself out to that extent this will put my professional career at risk - who would want to train with a flat, lethargic Personal Trainer?? NOT ME!!!

The GP's extensive Blood Test on my hormones indicated that I am borderline Hyperthyroid which is opposite to what my symptoms are indicating. I had to pretty much shake my answers out of him, I guess his mind was elsewhere thinking that in one hour he is off for the Easter Holidays which is far more important than my health of course... Initially he said "Oh your hormone levels are pretty normal" I arked up and said "Are you kidding me? What the hell is going on with my body? I have all these symptoms and nothing is telling you why?? I suggest you retest my thyroid, something is going on there for sure!" then he decided to open up the individual hormone test results and discovered about the lower side of normal T3 levels - and my Liver needs close attention to which he cheekily remarked "but this is typical for those taking a lot of protein powders and various other supplements..." that's all I got. I am so sick to death of lazy GP's. Pissed off with the fact that he was just going to leave it at that I explained how important this was to me. "My Naturopath has symptomatically diagnosed me with Adrenal Fatigue, my symptoms all shine in that direction. I have barely any spare time to relax let alone practice for my competition preparation and I am wasting all my spare time going to and from different medical professionals, to be told nothing is wrong but something isn't right, this is bullshit!!" He sharpened up and said well we should investigate the Thyroid Hormones, Cortisol, Liver and Kidney levels a bit further say in a months time. Knowing in the back of my mind "Bugger your half arsed opinion, I'm going somewhere else!" I am now booked in to see a specialist female GP in 3 weeks (yep, THAT booked in advance she MUST be good!) referred to by 2 of my clients. Endocrinologist can wait for now, Dr Pam Dagley to the rescue (I hope)

So going back to the phone call with Aaron, here is the sad part of the story. I called Dave, thought if I am going to break the news to someone that I will not be making it to Natural Mania this May - I better call the bestie who understands this type of comp. Straight to voicemail I left most of my message but hung up when I started to cry. My poor 10 year old nephew on his school holidays caught me on my way inside the house when I got home... I was wearing sunnies but he saw the tears pouring down my cheeks and ran over to me with a big hug saying "Ohhhhh what's wrong? What happened?" I felt terrible and whimpered saying "I have things wrong with my health that I have to deal with, so for now I can't compete in May anymore... Ohhh you shouldn't be seeing me like this..." He kept hugging me saying "Awwww, will you be okay?" I reassured him and said "Sure hun, there will be other chances for me to compete, just not yet mate." He sighed and said "That sucks!"

Yeah sure does... I removed myself from his sight and fell onto the bed to let the flood gates open. I really needed to get things out of my system in order to put the pieces back together and move on. "This is not the end..." I thought "I just HAVE to be patient and get my life / health balance back on track like I initially planned at the start of the year."

My next step was to inform Maria that I will not be competing in May as planned due to my Health circumstances. She reassured me that my health comes first and that the ANB is one giant family, they will always be there for me and there will always be another chance to compete. My grand plan? Look out September Vic Championships... what I was prepared for in 7 weeks time, I now have 4 months to put all together. A massive weight was lifted off my chest under this view, however I am still edgy wanting to get in for the Natural Mania. It is a feeling that I cannot describe other than feeling "torn" - I still haven't cancelled my bikini fitting this coming week... it's like I am still in denial.

Scary thing is when I had a dream a couple of weeks back about the comp and I wasn't able to get on stage. All I kept saying was "They said I'm not tanned enough, I'm not ready and I can't compete!" Dani and Kylie looked at me from the stage pissed off as if to say "What the F***??? Why aren't you up here?" Talk about a preminissive dream... oh well girls, see you in the Tall Class Figure rounds next year, huh? Xx